This week's Poetry Bus prompt is to write something watery (prompt is here – think baths, showers, swimming pools etc.). As I was considering the task I also decided to bring in part of last week's prompt and make this poem a triolet (because I used something readymade last week - that prompt was here). So, without further rambling around (and no pictures today... let's make the words work harder...), here it is:
Vital
There's water first and water last
You watch it fall from hand to hand
So little left, so much gone past
There's water first and water last
The ship's too heavy for its mast
It crashes hard upon the land
There's water first and water last
You watch it fall from hand to hand
RF 2010
This week I posted some Victoria Wood, some Two Ronnies and some David Hoyle. Because there's so much more than poetry in this world.
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23 comments:
Oh, thank feck, I thought it was going to be Marti Pellow.
Love this poem.
Bless you, my son. Love is, indeed, all around.
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Really liked this, Rachel - I read it a few times and the line about the ship's mast is unexpected, but an excellent choice.
Kat
Brilliant. An absolute gem.
great poem rachel, and the form works well with it.
Thanks. I could tell you exactly what prompted these particular 8 lines of words... but I'll just let them be on their own for now.
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Rachel, a true triolet through and through...quite hypnotic to read.
Enjoyed!
It does have a rocking on the water motion I suppose! And I got there in the end, Liz (wherever 'there' is...).
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Water first & water last - this is true of all kinds of stories & myths. And the ship crashing into land just makes it seem even more mythic. Love it!
I have a very soft spot for riolets! :)
Thanks Bug... from the ordinary our myths are made...
Jinksy - now you're just trying to confuse me! Riolets..?
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Balance and one's place in the world. Those were the first two thoughts that occurred to me when I finished reading your poem. The ships too heavy for its mast, as if the mast was holding the ship together. That was a stroke of genius. I had to read it a couple of times. Then there's the water. Everywhere. Our planet should be called 'Water' and not 'Earth'.
Brilliant. Many thanks.
greetings from London.
Riolet or triolet, it still works well
Oh Cuban, you are king of the OTT praising comments! But I don't mind.
Peter (more restrained). Also welcome.
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Aha! I'm with the brilliants, and though in the know it echoed Moby Dick to me and that is, as you know, my highest praise.
You have whales on the brain... but thanks anyway.
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Oh, my God. You have surpassed yourself, Rachel.
Thanks EO. Sometimes the simplest prompts bring up good things I suppose.
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That is really very nice indeed. simple, but with the air of a classic about it. Wordspun. Nice one!
I'm so glad you all like this poem as it's about a really important event/time for me. It is, as everything this year for me, connected to my Mum. Tears to fill a bath with!
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Just came to read your bath poem again. Thanks for bringing it back up.
Such a huge change for us, Chris, and water symbolises life (isn't that right... sure I remember that from school lit classes!) so no wonder it's such a significant part of the change.
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