The very silly season - Poetry Bus style

So this week's Poetry Bus is driven by Liz Gallagher (all the options over here). I went for the option "the night I dressed as a..." and whilst the poem below isn't about a Halloween costume strictly speaking it was a costume and it sure was scary (and I wore it on stage in front of lots of people). So what was I dressed as..? Here's a clue:



Back at this post there's another clue too (right at the end of the post, I should say).

And as for the poem - I wrote this years ago but it was never right so this week I've rejigged it a bit. It's still not what I would call my best work... but that's not really the point always is it?


The true but sorry tale of the woman who was once a sanitary towel

In a fashion show once was I
We never really knew quite why

It wasn’t simply looking good
More 'artistic, yet light-hearted, study of the nature of womanhood'

So in a full nightclub at 1 am
We dressed all girl for all gay men

But unfashionable I in the trendy glare
Never one to read Vogue, look now, style hair

Demonstrated the usual poor career management
And a giant sanitary towel, somehow, I wore as a garment

A female Australian Boy George lost in space
Ringlets of tampons ahung round my face

In surfboard with wings and top of dry weaving
I was menstruation for part of an evening

Very Brit Art Pop culture and all of that blur
Very cool, very weird, very him, maybe her

Our stylist, in love with ideas and their power
Was half Carol Smillie, half whiff of Madonna

In pseudo-political, confrontational fashion
I was struck down with pre-making-a-cock-of-myself tension

And I recalled the case for in-your-face womb lining
From years gone by and feminist redefining

But this wasn’t it, this was hip fancy dress
Aspects of woman without all the mess

How even a towel can have a great time
Dancing on catwalk in clean white design

No second formers being on the rag
No hiding of evidence deep in your bag

No awkward moments during insertion
No sitting funny and cursing the cursing

This was grown-up crap with the usual gloss
Fashion, once more, a provider of dross

Down in the cellar the day dragged along
Waiting for showtime, the volume, the throng

To prepare for the show, for this silliest of nights
Aspects of woman got higher than kites



RF 1997 (rejigged 2010)

For those interested in Rachel trivia that night it was a group of us from a Leeds club visiting a popular Manchester night called Flesh (read about Flesh here). And for those who don't know who Carol Smillie (pronounced Smiley) is she's a Scottish TV presenter (and former model) most famous for a home makeover show.

x

p.s. Really good poem by Mike Venner at my last post (here). Plus a boat made of tetrapak... maybe I should try wearing that this year...