Snow way-out
I was out walking deep in the snow today
When I met myself coming the other way
I said "hey me-you – where are you going, friend?"
It said "far be it from me to start a trend
But I heard there's a way-out just down there"
And off it slipped into the wintry air
I called "please take care, don't get cold or lost"
It was quick with a cheery chirped riposte
"Don't worry yourself, I've been here before"
And I looked and shrugged and I walked some more
RF 2010
More about the song
This is my old book (published 2008). You can still buy it from my website if you fancy it (go to 'book' page).
Reading in Montrose, April 2010
Photo by Scott Henriksen
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29 comments:
Cool, literally and illiterally.
I like the response after the dissappearance, adds further to the mystery
Yes, I wondered about changing that... but kept it in the end. I envisage it as 'moving away down the track but still in earshot' (explanation to self for not changing it). That or a cheshire cat/ghost thing going on.
I was just walking the dog this afternoon and found some tracks in a bit of snow that I know I made the other day. It was so quiet and mysterious out... I spent the rest of the walk working out the lines. Rhythm of walking goes well with rhyme (chain gangs, soldiers etc.).
x
It made me grin!
I often talk to myself, but neither of us is actually GOING anywhere at the time.
A way out to where? From where? I like the ambiguity. I mean, it probably means something specific to you but something different to me. Which, of course, you already know. Shutting up now.
The way-out is completely open to interpretation! It isn't one thing in my head...
x
it's tne not-going-anywhere that adds to the allure. I love your writing style.
lol @ me. I meant "the" . . . still love your style.
I'm enjoying rambles with you, or is that me?
Janie - we can nowhere together!
And Alex's... are you new here or someone I already know under another name?
x
This makes me think of Bob Dylan.
I like the "hey me-you - where are you going, friend?" and the "shrugged", but that's not to say I don't like the rest of it as well.
Interesting title too.
Kat
Maybe you just think about Bob all the time, PH...
Cheers Kat.
x
Liked this, Rachel! Made me think of Dylan too. Which won't surprise you.
Maybe I should come up with some more verses...
x
I'd love to meet myself. I'd give me such a beating.
Nice idea for a poem, intriguing, I likes it!
I had various things in my head today - Robert Frost (always Frost when there's snow around...), Hugh McMillan's poem about feet (see here), Titus' Bus prompt (here)... and much more besides...
x
Oh and of course we're watching 'Six Feet Under' which is just full of ghosts and fantasy sequences!
x
Ooh, I liked that. My second favourite nursery rhyme is Mearns' 'Antigonish':
Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away
When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door
Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away
of which it obviously reminded me.
(Most favourite 'Hark, Hark, the dogs do bark' etc.)
The rhyming in yours is par excellence: it's obviously there, but not there, maybe because of the long-ish lines.
I think maybe I had that rhyme in my head too - somewhere.
Also having not rhymed on the pub Bus recently I suppose I felt I had to make up for that! I'm so awkward... never do the right thing at the right time!
x
A keeper, Rachel. I love that expression we use about 'meeting oneself coming'...and the significance of possibly going round in circles and all that that implies. Also like 'It was quick with a cheery chirped riposte' ...made me think nimble footed and without a bother. Hey, thanks for getting me thinking in poetry talk, it's been an age. ; )
Yes, I think the circles thing came partly via the Titus video prompt. That and literally meeting my own footprints from a day or so before.
Always nice to have you call by, Liz.
x
And routine... it came from my routine which is fairly tight and regular at the moment. Not for long though...
x
Trouble is, when this happens to me I'm never sure if I'm me or the me that I meet. :)
Different shades of the same colour...
x
Yllis os si sith! This is so silly! Ti evol I!
I love the first two lines, an Emily Dickinson feel about it.
High praise all round. thanks
x
this is in fact one of the best poems i read last year, one of those which have left a very intense, long lasting impression. i am also tempted to play with video along its lines, we'll see if i manage what i have on mind...
So glad you like it, Roxana. I am fond of it too.
It would be great if you did something with it. If you need me to record an audio version just let me know (although I'd quite like to hear it from someone else's voice too).
x
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