Last week the moon... this week a starry prompt for the Poetry Bus from the Weaver of Grass. Being a bit busy with family Xmas stuff just now I thought I might just recycle something for this... but then this morning I thought I'd have a go at a star sonnet (yes, I'm still reading the new Don Paterson Shakespeare's Sonnets Book... well, just finished it actually... report on that next week... expect huge generalisations... up now - here). And what do you know... I sat down to write this morning and lo, a sonnet appeared. So here is my sort of Xmassy, sort of starry sonnet (and I had to get the word 'eyes' into it... Shakespeare uses it in practically every one of those dratted sonnets). Now I'm off to wash some socks or something...
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I'd love to look above and see a star
One spark of bright to help me find my way
The thought that light can guide us from afar
That is a hope that shines for some each day
But others of us look up to the skies
When times are hard, when nights are long and cold
We see not one but myriad shining eyes
Each one a shepherd to a different fold
We cannot make a choice, we want them all
We want to see each road, each glint and glow
And though some roads lead only to a fall
The only way to learn that is to go
We take the paths we take, it is alright
When we have one another kept in sight
RF 2010
A song you say? A starry one? Maybe this from the 1980s...
Although (no surprise) I really prefer this one from the 1970s...
p.s. 'Books I've read this year' post back here (oh, and I've added one I'd missed first time round...).
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36 comments:
You're right :) We apparently don't like being held to one choice (or having to pick).
It's a most excellent sonnet by the way. I wonder if I shall ever attempt one? Perhaps in gloomy January - what else will I have to do?
Well done, Rachel! It is sort of Xmassy, indeed, and so very appropriate, given what you're reading. I love it when a good sonnet comes together :-)
Isn't writing a sonnet *satisfying*? I find there's a moment when you think, yes! At last! It's all fallen into place!
Nicely done and THANK YOU for the Earth, Wind & Fire number. :)
Satisfaction with a sonnet? In a way... and then a kind of dirty, shamed 'oh-I've-been-so-formal-and-tidy' feeling. Or maybe that's just me...
Earth, Wind and Fire... so loved them when I was eleven. And I love them still.
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I'm happy you addressed the guiding star tale in this way. These were my two favorite lines:
"When times are hard, when nights are long and cold
We see not one but myriad shining eyes"
Glad you got eyes in there!
I'm seeing and hearing eyes in my sleep, I think!
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Sonnet shmonnet, it's a lovely poem. Weavers prompt is bringing out the warmth,the romance, the best of us.
Truly elegant in form and impressive in content. It reads almost like a secular carol!
Romance, elegance... I'll get to Strictly Come Dancing yet...
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Lovely heroic couplet at the end there! Proper Christmassy poem!
It's nigh impossible to not write a sonnet about eyes (or stars for that matter) after reading Shakespeare's sonnets, I find....
"And though some roads lead only to a fall
The only way to learn that is to go" - aint that the truth!
Looking forward to the potted read next time, too! Merry Christmas!
Excellent, a fine conception, well worked out.
'Tis the season to consider stars!
lovely, I didn't let myself go in a traditional direction, but I am glad you let this one flow! Thanks.
It's potted and rambly, Rach. It perhaps to be regretted...
Thanks for lovelys and excellents though. Always welcomed!
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I might tinker a bit with Line 12 possibly "the only way to learn that is to go" Otherwise, it flows beautifully, the rhymes aren't forced and there's a logical train of thought from start to finish.
Is that not what my line says, Peter?
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Charming! There's even an ever so-slight religious allusion with the shepherd and fold. Amazing how what we read often evolves into something of our own in print, isn't it?
Kat
Can't avoid shepherds at this time of year, Kat! And the whole thing is kind of about religion (or lack thereof...).
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I can tell you've been reading Shakespeare! Great iambic pentameter and perfect rhyme. Very thoughtful poem with great depth. The turn at the end is really nice.
Must join the angel roars of approval! Like it.
I also like the Kiki (don't recognise the DJ though - I thought I'd watched every TOTP of that era) but yes, Earth, Wind and Fire top it.
Earth Wind & Fire top most things!
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Yes, I'm saying you should maybe tinker with it. It just doesn't quite gel.
But I wouldn't dare suggest anything!!
Works when I read it... maybe an accent/stress thing!
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I really enjoyed reading this. And yes our choices, good and bad shape more than just the decision. Very thought provoking.
Thanks, Socks. I couldn't ask for anything more.
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Dear Rachel,
Indeed, sonnets are rarely easy! Yours works. Thanks for sharing with us.
I agree with your final couplet too, by the way.
Ann T.
I'm saying thanks a lot... but thanks.
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Oh, this is really great Rachel, so effortlessly done, I mightn't have noticed it was a sonnet without you saying. The ideas in it are great
It did fall out quite easily, this one. Certainly much more easily than the last sonnet I wrote back at the end of November ('Trying for home' - back for Bug's Bus - http://crowd-pleasers.blogspot.com/2010/11/dana-bugs-bus-home-sweet-sonnet.html )
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Each one a shepherd to a different fold
As long as one is our guiding light back home...
And I'm heartily in favour of writing sonnets, anytime, any place. I think the people who object to them are often the ones who couldn't write a sonnet if you paid them! :)
Home... a tricky concept!
When I sat with my Mum as she died I waited to see if some godly light type thing would show itself to her in any form (she wasn't a believer really but she was open to the idea). There was nothing. It was hard as hell to watch but we did our best to keep lights shining around her till the end.
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Beautiful Rachel - and such wise words too.
Thank you for your Christmas card which arrived today - and licks from Tess to Zoe. And love to you all at christmas.
Cheers, Weaver. Wise men, see, who needs 'em?
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Enjoyed reading your starry sonnet, Rachel.
Felicitations for the lovely stars.
I've never been able to finish a sonnet. What I want to say keeps getting lost in the rules.
Hi Caroline. Hope you're well.
And NanU... it's funny because I'm not a rules person in many areas but somehow anything to do with rhyming I can bear... I just love doing it!
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