Monday, 14 June 2010

Wailing for England




So, the valley of tears it is this week. Mum gone a month now and it seems harder than ever. I have a poetry event on Saturday too...interesting to see if I can make it through my bit without wailing. The event is at Barry Mill near Carnoustie, starts at 6pm and features various local poets and musicians. It should be fun...but I probably won't read this morning's poem.


poem temporarily removed

p.s. Today's photo is from some time back in the mid 1990s. Taken somewhere near Whitby, North Yorkshire. Oh and this is NOT my Poetry Bus poem for this week, Bus Trippers - that is on the previous post.

x

15 comments:

Niamh B said...

My god, can't believe it's a month already Rachel. That's a beautiful poem.

xx

Gwei Mui said...

It is always a sadness to hear when someone else has lost a dear one. Time they say is a healer, but I know it can be painfully slow in more ways than one. I do believe that your poetry will help you greatly to lessen the pain of grief and loss. And of course you will always have your photographs and memories. Your mother will "live" on in your heart and with every inhalation and exhalation

The Bug said...

I've probably mentioned before that my mom died 5 years ago. The first 6 months was hardest & then grief would strike at odd (and inconvenient!) moments. Now it's only every now & then (or every day) that I feel the ache of sadness. And the part that's hardest is that she's not here to comfort me.

But the other night I dreamed that she was playing frisbee with my father's new wife - so that's something.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Painful beautiful poem.Showing (As opposed to hiding) weaknesses like sores, is a great line, very interesting.
If you feel like wailing then wail, your mum is fine, you must look after yourself, be Bob Marley! Go with the flow ,trust yourself, be kind to yourself.

That's a brilliant photo by the way aren't you lucky to have it?

The Weaver of Grass said...

Keep crying Rachel - let it out. It is better to do that than bottle it up. As to whether your Mum would approve - it is just showing her, wherever she is now, just how much you loved her. The same goes for that poem.

Rachel Fox said...

I seem to have a low phase once a day just now and today's was this morning. Feel OK now.

Excellent frisbee story, Bug. And TFE, yes...it's a nice photo. She wasn't the huggiest person so it's quite rare too!

Eryl Shields said...

'weaknesses like sores' is brilliant and the whole poem really resonates for me.

I love the photo, what a lovely smiley young thing you were!

hope said...

Grief is like the world's weirdest roller coaster...never sure when up, down or a curve is coming.

I keep thinking about you...even if I don't always voice it.

Marion said...

That's a really lovely photo, Rachel. Those last couple of lines are so sad...

Karen said...

I wish there were words to help. I still cry for my mother-in-law at the oddest times, and it has been five years.

Selma said...

I still cry for people I have lost and it is now many, many years later. Your Mum looked lovely. I am terribly sorry you have lost her. A beautiful poem.

NanU said...

It's a beautiful poem, and it's okay to show all that stuff. Let it out!

Titus said...

Oh Rachel, it's just crap, isn't it? I can remember going back to work 3 days after Dad's funeral and everyone else was acting normally and I just wanted to shout at them "Don't you understand? The world has changed forever!".
The hole never goes, you still cry, but you somehow learn to live with it as time passes. Don't rush the grief, and don't stop talking about her.
Great photograph, sad poem. Which is right.

Rachel Fenton said...

It's a beautiful picture and a sadly beautiful poem. I hope your words bring you some comfort for now and later you have that brilliant photo to remind you of happy times. x

Dominic Rivron said...

Titus has said what I was going to say: these holes never go... but we somehow learn to live with them as time passes. (And as we get older, sadly, we accumulate a few more holes...)