Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Bad films



Very tired here...all the emotional stuff, plus visitors (now gone), plus...the fact that everyone else seems to be getting on with their lives like nothing has happened...whilst I feel like going to bed for a year or something.

Anyway...don't ask why (WHY?) but we watched the 2006 'Miami Vice' movie this week. It is possibly the worst film (or movie) that I have ever seen (and why did they bother casting the lovely Jamie Foxx if they weren't even going to give him any lines?). So...as I'm too tired to write any more...nominations for the worst films ever please.

Thank-you. Your cooperation is appreciated.

x

34 comments:

Titus said...

Having sat through the 2006 remake of "The Omen" last night I'm nominating it, and all of its genre - i.e. remakes of absolutely classic fims that cannot be bettered. Why? Yes, we know the mighty dollar, but why not just re-release a "digitally-remastered" version of the original? Last night I was shouting at the television it was so bad.

And, from the recesses of my memory, where it is still horribly seared, Russ Meyer's "Supervixens" which I saw in a student flat somewhere in Bristol a long, long time ago. There is a scene of violence so horrific and misogynistic in it I still shudder. And Russ Meyer films are having a bit of a cult renaissance/re-examination at the moment. Don't go there.

Jim Murdoch said...

I’ve never seen Battlefield Earth - thank God – and so I’ll probably go with Batman and Robin although the big screen adaptation The Avengers was a disaster too.

Titus said...

And look after yourself, stay in and rest but also get out and talk to people about your mother. This period often feels like the hardest.
Love to all.

Marion said...

Okay not the worst film ever but the new Robin Hood is pretty rubbish. It bears almost zero resemblance to the traditional story and the sight of Crowe on horseback declaring an Englishman's home is his castle was almost too much to bear. The best bit was the Pythonesqe 'none shall pass' moment, only problem was it was meant to be serious. Big disappointment.

Titus said...

Ooh, Ooh, now Marion's said that, "Alexander" with Colin Farell (with big bouffant bleachy hair). Scene before big battle with Darius a straight rip from Braveheart, all the Macedonians have got Scottish and Irish accents and basically it's appalling. And feels longer than its 5 hour running time.

Gwei Mui said...

Worst film - where do I start, there have been so many. bu my vote goes to The Manchurian Candidate (2004)

Rachel Fox said...

Well so far remakes, classic-favourite stories and Colin Farrell seem to be some linking factors re badness. Poor Colin...only in 'In Bruges' is he bearable. So does he pick the worst scripts on purpose? Does his agent? Or is that he's in lots of blockbuster-type movies and their scripts are more often than not duff? A bit of all the above I suppose.


x

Rachel Fox said...

Plus - I hadn't even heard there was an Omen remake! Very out of loop am I.

And 'Alexander' seemed longer than 5 hours..? Eeek.

x

Niamh B said...

I think I'm blocking out most of the worst ones, but one that stands out is Austin Powers: Goldmember - as being a hugely dissappointing trip to the cinema...

Rachel Fox said...

I could never understand why anyone liked any of the Austin Powers films, to be honest. We tried to watch the first one and just didn't find it amusing at all. We didn't even watch the whole thing.

x

Frances said...

I swam through treacle for a month after my mum died. It will pass.

As for worst film: Happy-Go-Lucky, 2008 with Sally Hawkins. Unbelievable.

Rachel Fox said...

I wrote about that film in my mammoth Xmas film post Frances (back here).

Yes, the swimming...I was just looking at photos (left out from funeral still)...and more than ever before it was like the woman in the photo was looking right at me. Cue sobbing.

x

Totalfeckineejit said...

Like a bad film it will always be there but it(the treacly swimming) willget easier, I'm sure.

As for the worst film ever absolutely any musical ever made is the worst film ever made, specially the real old ones. People suddenly bursting into song? Surreal, disturbing and very very annoying.I could vomit.

Rachel Fox said...

Oh no! I love musicals! I'm never speaking to you again.
x

Andy said...

I'm with totalfeckineejit on this i'm afraid... with the notable exception of CABARET. Ax

PS Found that soundtrack for you. Maybe grab it when you're in Leeds...?

Axx

Rachel Fox said...

Yes, please. See you in a month or so.

Have you seen there's a fashion for alternative musicals in London and beyond (or 'plays with songs' - with songs by bands/songwriters rather than ALW and all). Article here.

x

Poetikat said...

"Liquid Sky". I can't even talk about it.

Poetikat said...

P.S. I'm not going to defend "Happy Go Lucky", Rachel, because I know you'll all just beat me down. (Keep in mind that I'm not from your neck of the woods.)

Kat

Rachel Fox said...

I've never even heard of 'Liquid Sky', Kat. But then I have blanked out large sections of the 1980s!

x

Justin said...

I've never written to you here before, this is exciting. Ok, my life is all research and books at the moment so any diversion is exciting.

My pick at the moment is, The Lovely Bones. I found the book overrated but touching; the movie on the other hand is an orgy of CGI driven incoherence. Someone must take Peter Jackson's computer away.

Three cheers to Frances for nominating Happy-Go-Lucky. That film made me talk to the TV more than normal, and not with a friendly tone. The driving instructor is one of the all-time worst film characters - who would get in the car a second time? Who???

Eryl Shields said...

A colleague at work, when I did work, once recommended Final Destination I thought she was nice, and seemed bright enough... it reminded me of all those jokes about Crossroads: no production, no values.

The other worst film I ever saw was a porn adaptation of an Emile Zola novel that Stevie and me rented, not realising its genre, from the shop across the road from our new flat weeks into our marriage. The horror was pretty immediate. We nearly fell out about who would take it back!

I never got Austin Powers either, the boys love it though, or did.

Rachel Fox said...

Hi Justin!
I haven't read or seen 'The Lovely Bones'...no reason really...except I tend to shy away from anything in pop culture that is so obviously marketed at women. I don't watch 'Desperate Housewives' either or 'Sex and the City' and I don't read 'women's' magazines or know anything about Jordan. I did however read a really good bad review of TLB film - it's here.

Eryl...yes, porn is another world really. Or at least some of the time. I think I've only ever watched one porn film all the way through. It was called 'Insatiable' and I was about 15.

I think we watched 'Final Destination' but I can't remember much about it...usually means I started reading the paper or something. Was it the one with quite a good beginning...nothing much to follow up. Except of course there was a sequel. That one?

x

deemikay said...

Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland... it still hurts. :(

deemikay said...

Oh, and I sometimes say "Last Year at Marienbad". But I think I might like it. But I'm not sure. :os

Rachel Fox said...

Yes, our girl loves Tim Burton films but even she didn't have much to say about Alice! I let Mark take her to that one. I'm not an AiW fan at the best of times.

x

deemikay said...

I was almost angry when I came out the cinema. Then I remembered I got in for free, so that made it *slightly* better.

People with maffematical leanings are generally genetically inclined to like Lewis Carroll.

Oh, and I don't think I'll *ever* watch Miami Vice. Nor The A Team (out soon, movie fans!)

Rachel Fox said...

Yes, Miami Vice wasn't really a planned watch...just one of those things. And it was so bad it was funny (like 'Showgirls' though to be honest MV made SGirls look like high art...and indeed Showgirls had some fantastically bad lines...we still quote it often 'whatever it is she's got it' 'what is it?' 'I don't know but she's got it' etc.).

x

deemikay said...

Have you heard of "The Room"? I haven't seen it... but youtubed it aplenty.

The first guy you see wrote, financed and directed this film.

Rachel Fox said...

I think I was reading about it somewhere recently.
x

Justin said...

deemikay, you've just made my day! Thanks for posting that clip from "The Room". Wikipedia, which never lies, just informed me that the star/writer/director/lunatic spent $7 million on this piece of trash! Truly astonishing!

Titus said...

Eek, I really liked Final Destination 3 (only one I've seen), which by the law of sequels must be only 33% as good as the original.

Poetikat said...

Rachel, be very grateful for that. (The title just screams 80s, doesn't it?)

Wendyrob said...

This one was so bad, I tried to find out its real name but simply didn't have the inclination to search any more. Some really really crass sexist teen pop style shit with a Cinderella spoof theme, I recall. Saw some patches of it at the landlords in Denmark who happily let their 7 and 9 yr old boys watch it over and over and over again. Just dire beyond belief.

Rachel Fox said...

Teen films not my specialist subject (yet). Maybe someone with older kids could name this one...
x