Tuesday, 1 September 2009

5 minute poem

I didn't think I was going to take part in this. I forgot last night (caught up in household tasks) but this afternoon I had a go (just now in fact). So here it is...and it really did take five minutes so no harsh judgments please!

Five minutes about clouds

Thinking about clouds
Can be stormy or calm
From the darkest of grey
To the softest of balm
Now your head's lost in fluff
And your smile is a charm
Then it's back to full gloom
And a sign marked 'alarm'

RF 2009
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23 comments:

Totalfeckineejit said...

Great stuff Rachel,kinda made me smile! Something else we(and a couple of other people)have in common-rhyming under pressure! I didn't this time but mostly I do.Thanks a million for joining in,next week's assignment is already up. Joining in??

Rachel Fox said...

Maybe. Might be late again though.
As for rhyming...I rhyme a lot...about half of the time maybe. I enjoy it. And the fact that it's so out of fashion just makes me like it more.
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Eryl Shields said...

I'm gonna have to do this now, can't stand being left out, especially when there is a built in excuse/reason to be crap!

This wasn't crap, btw, quite romantic and song like.

Jim Murdoch said...

I might've taken six - do I lose points for that?


Five Minutes about Clouds

That looks like a horse and
that one's a blue-finned shark.

I can see a face and
a hippopotamus

and that one's some country
whose borders keep changing.

It looks like rain.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Is it easier do you think Rachel, to write in rhyme - or is there no difference? I do think that as long as it resonates then either is acceptable. I love your little rhyming poem. It doesn't half concentrate the mind having to do it in five minutes, doesn't it?

Rachel Fox said...

Yes, Eryl...it's often about the song with me!

Jim - it's just a poem in 5 minutes not a poem with that title necessarily. Saying that I like yours - especially the bit about the borders.

Weaver - easier..? I think rhyme is something that you either can or can't do - some rhyming poems make me CRINGE they're so forced and rhythmically challenged. I don't think any poetry writing is ever about easiness though, that said, and every writer is different. Maybe it's easier to write a quick rhyming poem (than a non-rhyming one) because your options get more limited if you're trying to rhyme and so you have to make quick choices and that makes you work fast. So yes and no and yes and no!

I might try and do a 5 minute non-rhymer. Not that I think either will ever amount to anything but it's an interesting exercise and it makes the brain burn.

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Titus said...

Thank God for another rhymer! Liked it and laughed, and totally agree with your comments and vacillation to Weaver!

Rachel Fenton said...

That's neat. A very cloud like poem. I like rhyme and free verse, I wouldn't want to have to choose.

Dominic Rivron said...

Did you find this challenge fun to do? I did. It got me thinking of all sorts of things to write afterwards, which can only be good.

You've inspired me to try some high speed rhyming. Do you ever watch Who's Line is it Anyway? I'm always amazed at the speed those people can invent things.

Rachel Fox said...

Yes, Rachel, it's good to have all options open. I like to try lots of different things.

And Dominic...fun? I'm not sure about that word exactly. But I haven't been writing many poems lately so it was good to make me stop doing other things and just write today - even if only for five minutes. I have been writing a bit...but not as much as sometimes. It's partly that it always takes me a while to get back into regular writing after school holidays plus I've been doing a lot of sending out information and posters for the poetry event here in October. And then there's the blogging...

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shug said...

Nice.

I'm going to post a poem that's taken me five effin years and it's still shite.

Rachel Fox said...

Yeh cos you're rubbish. Sir.
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Red Bird said...

Oh, I liked this, Rachel! And in 5 minutes, huh? I can't do anything in 5 minutes...;)
And that line about "Now your head's lost in fluff"- oh, I can relate!
Good one!
:)
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Rachel Fox said...

Thanks RB. I've had my mind on and in clouds lately!

Forgot to say Dominic...I did watch 'the line anyway' programme...way back when. Can't remember much about it now though...apart from it was almost always lots of blokes and Josie Lawrence!

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hope said...

I like the rhyming! And yes, I know some of the high minded intellects think it's akin to Dr. Seuss. Bet folks remember the Doc long after the intellectuals are gone. :)

Five minute challenges are fun...in my case it's the 55 word ones. It also let's your brain play because you don't have time [if you play by the rules] to drive yourself nuts searching for the best word. Well done!

As for "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" this is one of those rare occasions where I think the American version was funnier. Not because of my sense of humor, just because I got tired of Tony Slattery and the tall gray haired guy who mumbled so much. {No, not the host}. Besides Wayne Brady is hard to beat for thinking that fast. ;)

Rachel Fox said...

I have heaps of bits of Dr Seuss stuck in my head, Hope. My favourite bit is probably 'Just right, just right, just right' (from 'Old hat, new hat'). Simple. But memorable.

I never watched the US 'line' show. Which came first I wonder. And yes I agree...Slattery did seem to repeat himself a lot on the UK one. He was a nervous breakdown I think (he was on a programme about mental illness recently...was it the Stephen Fry one?).

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Rachel Fox said...

I think I missed out a 'having' in that comment!

hope said...

Sadly {?} my brain filled in the gap. :)

No, not Stephen Fry...I actually like him. I can see this guy but can't think of his name. He was quite tall, had a head full of gray hair and mumbled a lot. If I think of it, I'll put us both out of our misery.

Actually, the American version was second...although Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochery were on it as well.

Rachel Fox said...

No, no, Hope! I wasn't saying Fry was on the WLIIA programme...I was saying Slattery was on Fry's programme about mental illness (I think).

But saying that according to wikiwhat's it Fry was on the original radio programme as well and some of the TV shows too (hence the confusion). There's a full list of participants here.

Rachel Fox said...

Is it Paul Merton you're thinking of, Hope? He's a bit mumbly...but very successful here...especially on 'Have I got news for you'.
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deemikay said...

Nearly everything I write takes either "less than 5 minutes" or "more than 5 months".

You said you'd been reading some Norman MacCaig? He was asked how long it took him to write a poem and answered "the time it takes to smoke a cigarette - or two if it's a long one".

:)

Roxana said...

have you seen this? :-)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/gallery/2009/jun/01/2

Rachel Fox said...

I was just watching a TV programe about cloud-spotting and the Cloud Appreciation Society this week, Roxana! Beautiful photo.
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