Thursday, 5 August 2010

Floating about




Since Mum died in May it's been really hard to know anything...to care about anything in a way. A lot of the time I just feel a bit lost and I can't work out what I want to do, what I feel like, what I want to listen to even (usually I listen to heaps of music but in the past couple of months a lot of the time I've just not had the inclination for...well, anything really).

Still, I've been trying to prod myself back into some kind of feeling and listening to some of my favourite music to try and jumpstart myself (or something like that). One of my favourite singers and songwriters in recent years has been the Scottish folk star Karine Polwart (and I've mentioned her on here before). As well as writing a mean song she has one of my very favourite voices - it's not a flashy tool but it's really lovely, very pure but confident in a way I can't quite describe. In 2007 she put out a solo album of all traditional songs (all Scottish ones maybe?) called 'Fairest Floo'er'. It's a really smashing collection (with a bonny cover too - see above) and here she is singing a song from it called 'Will ye go tae Flanders?'






x

17 comments:

Rachel Fenton said...

Her voice isn't affected, is it, just simple and clean sounding. Lovely. I just got a book of folk songs for my birthday and I'm looking forward to giving them a go.

I think you've been incredibly brave with regards to all that you've experienced this year and your bereavement. Maybe you needed a wee break from feeling for a while.

Rachel Fox said...

Maybe. I'm sure if I were to study one of those 'cycles of grief for counselling' type things I could plot where I am now on the chart! In the wilderness... as ever...

x

burnedthumb said...

Ooh, aah, the nights are so long/but life is longer still/Ooh, aah, nights are so long/but the sun's coming over the hill.
Got me through a bad bit. Thinking of you, Rachel

Rachel Fox said...

Yes, that's a lovely song too. Must feel good to have so many!
x

martine said...

that is really beautiful and sad, but it is strange how gently comforting a little bit of melancholy can be.
thanks for sharing
martine

Rachel Fox said...

KP sings quite a lot of melancholic material... and yet I've heard her say in interview how she's really quite a cheerful soul. Like the reverse of the comics who are miserable away from the stage...
x

Selma said...

Her voice is lovely. I haven't listened to much Scottish folk lately, but I do love The Corries. They always bring a tear to my eye.

Rachel, you are still grieving. I think you have been coping remarkably well. Give it time and know that I am thinking of you. XX

Rachel Fox said...

It's hard to tell sometimes...am I grieving or is this just my usual on-and-off misery/listlessness/uselessness..? One thing about my Mum though - I had to at least pretend to keep it together for her...now it's all barriers down...well, nearly all.
x

Niamh B said...

I guess it does take a long long time, and the horrible thing is people around you - ie aquaintances, and people in blog world - we all forget about it, and think of you as back to normal - which is crap. Am grateful to you for sharing how you feel here anyway. Will listen to that tune the minute I get to a computer where I can!
x

Rachel Fox said...

Of course you forget...you all have your own stuff going on. And Mum's death isn't the only thing that has me feeling weird this summer. I feel weird most of the time, I think. Hence the poetry for me really. I always say if I could do a regular day job I would!
x

Kat Mortensen said...

Looks and sounds great! The cover has a bit of a MacIntosh feel for me.

Sorry about your emotional place right now; I know what you mean about not caring, but it will come back. I firmly believe that.

Kat

Rachel Fox said...

I suppose it's partly that as my only parent really Mum was such a constant for me and now I feel a bit compassless...or maybe that should be even more compassless!
Time to make my own direction...
x

Rachel Fox said...

Cover design on the cd is by Sarah Roberts.
x

hope said...

Maybe we're on the same wavelength... the Summer Kids had to pick a holiday and I picked "Memorial Day". We used the first lines of "In Flanders Fields" and the kids made red, paper poppies for the red stripes on the American flag.

I find her voice sweet and strong, but not overbearing. [There, that makes sense!] Sort of what I would want to sound like if I tried to carry a tune in public.

As for your Mum...well, her religious beliefs might've differed from yours but I still think she's watching over you, as it were. There are only two things I can say about losing a parent: the sharpness of the pain dulls and laughter at the memories will one day fill in the dips on those low days. Go at your own pace. We care. And we'll wait.

{And my WV was "reste")

Rachel Fox said...

I don't feel like she's watching me... I feel like she's right within me...like some weird core. It's a little spooky at times.
x

Dominic Rivron said...

Great song.

Music can be a great... I was going to say healer, but it's not quite the right word.

When I'm feeling low (for far more trivial reasons, it has to be said) I go for frenetic music early in the morning - it seems to kind of kickstart me! (=Fast jazz or Buena Vista at the moment).

Indian classical music has different scales for different times of the day - an idea I've always liked.

Rachel Fox said...

It's certainly been one of my best friends over the years (music). Right back from age of about 5 (me).
x