So this week it was Niamh handing out the maps for the Poetry Bus (maps still available
here and poems now being added
here). Housebound a lot this week due to illness upstairs, I followed her (lengthy!) instructions and once again found myself writing two new poems (one about each of the entries in my address book that came up). I'm not going to post both poems today because I think sometimes posting two poems together automatically puts them into some kind of competition with each other (people feel they have to choose the one they prefer and so on). And then I wonder - what is it about poetry that always makes it end up so much about being graded? I suppose other artforms are as bad (aren't they?).
Anyway, here is the first of the two address book poems and if you come back in a couple of days you might well see the other. They're very different.
Old storyIt was a different time, then
I was young and fit to burst
You had pretty girl's eyes
Tasty brown skin
And that certain city confidence
A swagger, a sway
Your home was a strange den
Rich, ornate, delicious
Small, cramped, packed
Shiny possessions shoehorned in
Say a surprising brass bedstead
I held that enough times
Along with this a soundtrack played
Angry boy's metal music
And though we wandered metropolitan
(Cinemas, cafés, undergrounds)
We never danced, we rarely kissed
Young animals that's all, in time
RF 2010
Other posts you might not have seen here this week...back on
Monday I posted a great poem by Swiss from his new book...and back on
Thursday I posted a love poem for Tony Soprano. Poems, poems, poems...house is bloody full of them!
x
25 comments:
I love this Rachel, and think you're right about the two poems sometimes leading to a bit of a competition.
This poem is beautiful, there is so much to enjoy in it, a fantastic record of the moment passed. Gorgeous
Thanks Niamh. Amazing all the memories we have...
x
Memories like the corners of my mind misty watercolour(?) memories of the way we were.Ah, great poem, Foxo!Likes it do I much (Seem to be Yoda again do I!)
I've always liked watercolour paintings almost most of all.
x
Ps I'm too embarrassed to mention the bedstead so I won't mention the bedstead.
Now you've made me smile!
How's your arse* by the way?
*I should point out that this is in no way a sexual reference...TFE slipped and fell on it the other day. Or so he says...
x
My arse is getting much better thank you Rachel.
Bedstead bedstead bedstead!
that's a real multi-sensory experience:-)
thanks for sharing
martine
I really like this. Oh to be a young animal again, if only for half an hour once a year.
Beautiful conjuring of a place, a time and a relationship. Just lovely work, touchingly real.
How did I miss the Tony poem!!
Thanks you 3. And yes, Eryl, it was a different life! I don't miss it though. Memories will do me fine.
x
Ha, arse and bedsteads - sounds like profound profanity! Love it.
So much great description to fill my head with imagery - great memory ride.
Still reading you, even if I seem to have vanished...hanging off the back of the bus in the blind spot...hope family are better soon!
Really enjoyed this too, lovely images and really captures that youthful lust for things, love the recollection of the bed, sounds swanky! :-)
Rachel - great to read you. I've been trying to improve my descriptive powers...
Watercats - swanky it was indeed. When I was 16 we moved to London from a small, crappy northern town and it was a huge change for me...meeting people from all over the world, different kinds of homes and houses, just the variety in everything.
x
You do description good!
That's nice to hear, thanks.
x
Other people's houses are always more interesting/exciting than our own. You've captured that feeling and I like the bedstead bit too.
That bedstead...it's blushing with all the attention...
x
I have to say, that bedstead is definitely jumping out for me, but also the "pretty girl's eyes" and most of all the "animals" line.
You nailed it! (pardon the pun.)
Kat
I was at the bit in AS Byatt's 'The Children's Book' where the main young ones were all about late teens when I wrote this. I think it helped memories came back for me too.
Did I mention it's a great book?
x
You should always dance. Dancing is the most important thing in a relationship.
(See - didn't mention the bedstead)
ps Got your book in the post this morning. Looking forward to it!
Thanks for ordering, Peter. Much appreciated.
x
Well, I read this after Part II, and I can't compare. I like them both. I do like the imagery in this one.
Thank-you. Daughter's birthday today - no time for imagery now, got cakes to organise!
x
Post a Comment