Here's one for the current Prime Minister of that strange beast we call the United Kingdom.
Sympathy vote
He is not the disco's greatest dancer
Or anybody's favourite flavour of the month
Woe is his name
His name is Gordon
There will be no gurning calendar
In the Xmas shops this year
No preening photos
No smiling PM
No titles are coming - no rear of the year
No head of the state, no hearts and minds
There'll be no prizes
No prizes for Gordon
No, this is the man who can do no right
Whatever he touches turns to brown
We're doomed, they say
The Gordon way
His face shows the merest flicker of hope
Does he dream, still deep, of the X Factor final
A stonking 'My Way'
Before cheering crowds?
He can dream all he likes – it would never fly
There'd be a power cut (at least!) at the mention of his name
He'd forget all the words
Go Pete Tong for sure
And most likely Tony Blair would turn up pronto
With a generator, a guitar and an Elvis impression
Leave Gordon neglected
'What's your name again...sorry?'
It has not gone well - it is not going well
It is a gap in history and a time of no-one
Gordon's page is feint
His signature fading
RF 2009
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42 comments:
Aw,
I feel all sad for him now...
Yes, me too...in some ways. Though there are much sadder stories. Perhaps this is more of a cautionary tale...what's the saying - careful what you wish for?
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Totally topical with the fading signature,love the double whammy of
'Whatever he touches turns to brown'
Good work comrade!
It does feel a little like kicking a man when he's down...plus I hate the idea of us all being played by the shitty media (grooming us for Cameron or whatever)...but this is just facing up to an unavoidable truth - he has not been the man for the job. It's kind of a shame really as I do think he had good intentions. It all reminds me a bit of that old TV play 'A very British coup'...but only a bit.
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Interesting article about GB in the Scotsman today - see here.
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I agree with you, that with all the good intentions he had, he wasn't the man for the job. I can only take my other half's word for what a conservative government will mean for this country, time will tell. Be careful what you wish for, indeed. x
Conservative governments...ah, yes I remember them well. 1979-1997 for me was ages 12-30 so quite a peak period. I did a lot of shouting 'Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, out, out, out' as a student!
A lot of people would say that if we do get a Conservative government soon we won't hardly notice any differences. I wouldn't go quite that far...but I know what they mean.
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Perhaps not too late for an Xmas gin commercial - as a last fling? Or do I mean sling?
Does make you wonder what job he'll do next. Don't think starring in ads will be on the list but you never know...'it's got to be Gordon's...' indeed.
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Isn't there a saying that we usually get the government we deserve?
I must say it is lovely to see a photograph of him smiling. I do sometimes wonder though whether anyone is capable of being a fantastic leader - can you think of a Prime Minister who did a really good job (other than Churchill, who came into his own in times of crisis, but was rejected once the war had finished)?
What I do know is that Tony Blair looked a wreck when he resigned from the leadership (and now looks like a very polished and very rich man!) - and Gordon Brown similarly looks absolutely exhausted most of the time. Like him or hate him - I wouldn't have his job.
Prime Ministers who did a good job? Maybe we'd better call in the historians...
Most of all I think Brown's failing has been in the daft field of keeping up appearances (probably one of the key areas these days, rightly or wrongly). Whoever his team is...they're all to blame too.
There's a bit of me that still wants him to turn it round (OK, not solve all of life's problems...but just not look like such a loser, for heaven's sake)but when it comes to general elections Angus is SNP territory through and through.
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If you're trying to avoid anyone thinking you're doing what you thought I was doing, this post was definitely the ticket. :)
Been hard at the surrealism again, Dominic?
p.s. I asked you a question about your book of surrealist poems...back in the comments at the Garage post.
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lemn sissay pour toi?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00npwh6
more on the pome later. i have an ironing priority....
He linked to it on his blog earlier this week. I might listen today...though I have done quite enough crying this week already!
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I met him back in the day, at a dinner Robin Cook gave (Robin was a friend of mine, in the years when I was a party activist, ie: before Iraq). I thought he was a nice guy. and I think he probably still is, but he doesn't get much of a chance to show it.
Maybe in the days before the crazy constant press/internet attention he might have fared better but the way things are now the job just doesn't seem to have suited him. It is a shame. You could say it has been a particularly difficult time but then the times are always that way, aren't they?
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And in a way I think the problem is as much to do with the Labour party (as to do with GB). The party doesn't really know what it is anymore or what it stands for. Tony Blair managed to cover that with a big grin and a lot of photo opportunities but Brown doesn't have that sheen and so maybe the holes in the party have been easier to see. Whenever the Labour ministers/MPs are on Question Time or whatever they just seem like such unappealing figures.
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Good idea, but I wasn't quite sure if you thought him dumb - or just unlucky. Maybe PMs are like football managers: it's more important to be a lucky one than to be a genius.
Dumb or unlucky...that is a big question, Dave (if not the big question). I think it's a mixture of lots of things (and there's a politician's answer for you...). He has been unlucky in many ways - for example his timing...in other times a lot of Scots would have been proud of a Scottish PM in Westminister but at the moment lots of them don't want any Westminister PM for Scotland at all. And that is just one of many timing issues...
I think he is an intelligent man but that the dumb decision he made was wanting to be PM perhaps. Sometimes the wise decision is to stay a little further backstage. As Chancellor he had managed to keep his reputation somehow (even with the huge banking crisis!) but as PM it just seemed to go downhill from day one. Is it all a plot to make Tony look better? I suppose anything is possible...
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Poor Gordon, I do feel sorry for him, he never stood a chance after Blair.
Very interesting reading viewing from this side of the pond! "Be careful what you wish for" indeed!
You know how kids react to their parents and by default end up carbon copies of their grandparents?... (yeah, well that's the theory)...well, just how much was Blair liked again?
I have an urge to send Brown a copy of "The Prince"...much good it would do him now though...
Yes, Sorlil, it'll be interesting to see how/if his fortunes and reputation change now. Watching Question Time this week I wondered if all the badly-spelt letter business (and the way the Sun handled it) meant that people were actually better disposed towards Brown now than before. It all gets a bit confusing! And I know it's personality politics in a way but, rightly or wrongly, it does affect how people vote. As I said voting Labour, Tory or Lib Dem is kind of irrelevant here in Angus anyway (SNP always win here just now) so I really am an observer in this in many ways. I just remember friends being so keen for Brown to 'get his turn at PM' and have watched a little dismayed as he has (as yet) failed to really make any positive mark on the job and the country.
p.s. Will Self was great on Question Time this week! But then it's always easier for the intellectuals in some ways...no interests to protect...
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Other Rachel...when I first read your comment (not long out of bed...) I read your recommendation as the 'Little Prince' and thought 'eh?' Then I just reread it and realised you had not put that at all!
Brown with Machiavelli...an episode for a comedy programme I think!
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I thought Will Self was great also, he sure did make that tory woman squirm!
Mark and I were just talking about Will Self and saying how it's people like him that need to be our leaders really...people with a brain in their head! But they won't I suppose. Like many jobs politics often attracts exactly the wrong kind of people.
Like you (I think) student politics was enough for me. All that having to argue the same point over and over and over. And the bureaucracy. And the being under the spotlight. No wonder so many people don't fancy it (to say the least).
We're watching the Andrew Marr history series that's on just now too. Are you?
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I do feel sorry for him, but not perhaps sorry enough, as he was the master of his own destiny.
Loved this bit;
"No, this is the man who can do no right
Whatever he touches turns to brown"
and the last stanza (verse! verse!)
"It has not gone well - it is not going well
It is a gap in history and a time of no-one
Gordon's page is feint
His signature fading"
What scares me is that politicians have to be popular, and the interpretation of popular that we, and our media, have created is an utterly vacuous one. Politics has lost its principles.
I'm not sure politics has ever been as much about principles as we would like to think, Titus. There have been flashes of it...great moments, inspired individuals, memorable changes...but there's always been a lot of crap too.
Yes, I am in that 'feel a bit sorry for Brown and then not at all sorry for him' place too. His days are numbered so he could go out in glory - make some fine gestures, stand out from the crowd, change something! I find myself thinking stupid things like 'be a man, Gordon, for goodness sake'. Strange the nonsense that can come to mind sometimes...
And then you look at the other Labour people that are waiting in the wings...oh dear.
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No I've not been watching the Andrew Marr series. Been watching ITV's Greatest Scot though, my old political theory lecturer was on it last night advocating Adam Smith, total nostalgia - I love studying political theory (would like to go back to study!!) but party politics is out the window for me!
I haven't been watching the Greatest Scot. I don't suppose you'd consider condensing it all into a nice blog post would you? Think of it as an educational service..
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I'm afraid there's no chance of me having the time to do that!
Shame!
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I thought it a shame that during the recent ceremonies marking the 20th year since the Berlin Wall fell, more mention wasn't made of the huge contribution to its demise by Margaret Thatcher. I think she's one of the 20th century's greatest women.
Hello GW
As you're new to me I have no idea whether your comment is serious or in jest. 'One of the 20th century's greatest women' - that's a big claim. She was certainly good at succeeding and she was powerful (in her way) and she was certainly strong. 'Great' though? Not in my version of events.
Overdose of the certainlys there. It's the thought of Mrs T that did it, I think. She's like a distant bad dream to some of us now...still the ability to unsettle though. Obviously.
This is one of the reasons why I come here. The poem/reflection is a brilliant X-ray of the state of British politics at the moment. And those last lines of Blair stealing Gordon's thunder, ahhh, what a delight to read! I could see Blair's grin against Brown's frown and you know what? Gordon's got no chance. Even he knows that.
But at least Blair was not elected as a candidate for the EU presidency, hooray!
Greetings from London.
There's another cliché coming to mind...something about nice guys and last. It's not always the case of course...and probably not even the case here (he's been PM for heaven's sake, he's hardly a powerless individual)...but it still comes to mind.
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As for Blair and Europe...I hate to think where he's going to direct his attentions next. The first married Pope? Taking over from Brucie on Strictly Come Dancing? My guess is he'll get that Europe job in the end. Give him a few more years to wheel and deal...he'll be there in the end.
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Sneaky little poem. Some great lines.
Politics is a horrow-show; I can't get invovled in it with out shouting 'conspiracy' or 'corruption' or 'covert operation'.
I can't stand it.
It is hard to get out of conspiracy mindset. Once you start seeing them you see them everywhere.
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It's true. Once you've consulted some of the 'conspiracy factualists' it's hard not to view the poltical process with contempt and suspicion.
Most conspiraloonery, is actually, quite frankly, the fact that the majority of people are uninformed and simply don't know what is going on in the hallways of political brokering. So, not necessary a deliberate conspiracy, but the sheer number of people unaware, it may as well be.
Or maybe they just want us to think that.
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