Light relief

Thanks for all your poetry offerings in the last post. Lots to be getting on with, lots to think about, lots of interesting comments. I started right away with Patrick Kavanagh as there were votes for him from Shug and Barbara and I'd never really taken him out for any kind of serious test drive. I'm really enjoying what I've read so far – thanks for that, clever readers.

I do like to have moments where this is something like a literary blog but I'm all for light relief too now and again. So... here's a thing I read over at Poetikat's the other week – '10 things you'll never hear me say'. Her list really made me smile so I thought I'd have a go myself. I am going to add a 'probably' to the title because life is all surprises and...you never know...maybe I will be a Republican Party candidate by Xmas.

TEN THINGS YOU WILL (PROBABLY) NEVER HEAR ME SAY (OR READ ME WRITE)

1.Please find enclosed an invitation to our wedding.
2.Oh goody, my BNP* membership card has arrived.
3.Yes, I'm having my nails done at 3 and my legs waxed at 4.
4.Doesn't Posh Spice** look lovely in that dress? I must get one.
5.Would you like a copy of 'The Watchtower'?
6.Oh look, I've won the National Poetry Competition.
7.I'm working hard on the beam but I think my best chance for gold is the floor routine.
8.Chairing Parent Council Meetings is my idea of heaven.
9.No, no more cake for me, thanks.
10.Driving HGVs long distance – my dream job, I'll start on Monday.



*British National Party – delightful group of individuals of the far right variety.
**Or any other daft woman in the public eye and, my god, are they thick on the ground.