OK, so we know one thing...you never know who's reading! I don't know exactly who I imagine as readers when I put these posts together (sometimes carefully and at length...sometimes fairly flung down at speed) but mostly I suppose I imagine it's the regular commenters and maybe a few others besides - people wandering around cyberspace, filling in time or more likely frittering it away when really they should be writing that report by Friday or getting on with clearing out the garage. As I've mentioned before I never look at stats or any of that 'who came via what page' stuff...it's just not something I want to spend time or brainpower on...so then it's a surprise, I'd have to say, when folks show up that you weren't expecting (as happened recently...you mean you've not read it..?). You get all...'oh sorry, if I'd known you were coming...I mean I'd have at least hoovered the comments box...I'd have got some posher biscuits in'...it's an automatic reaction...isn't it? Not even a teeny bit? Even for the most agitated amongst us?
So, with all that in mind, I thought I'd see who else I could tempt out of the woodwork. Come on, your majesty, I know you're out there...
Queen Elizabeth II is the one on the left by the way, just in case there was any doubt, and let's not even get started on who has the most class. So, how might I get her majesty's attention?
Well, wouldn't you just know it, I have a poem about her! I've been meaning to post it ever since we talked about all the things we've ever written poems about (back here – in amongst the sex poems post). It's weird how this poem came about because I don't normally ever read about the royals or give them a second thought (other than to think 'oh please, you're still playing that game of charades?'). But then one lazy night I'd ended up watching some of a documentary about Elizabeth II's 80th birthday and it was so...miserable...and the interviewer asked (to my mind) all the wrong questions so somewhere around then this little poem popped out. I suppose you might call it light verse but that is just not one of my terms (plus although the style may be light-like the content is really anything but...I am quite serious...I really would ask her these questions!). For those of you in the lands of far, far away I should perhaps say that the poet mentioned in line 4 is the very marvellous Benjamin Zephaniah who turned down an OBE (Order of the British Empire) in 2003. There's an article by Zephaniah explaining his decision here but, you know, people turn them down all the time (John Baker had a list of people who had done the same back on his blog here). I sent my poem to Zephaniah and he put it on his website on the page of other people's poems (which was nice) and he even said my poems were 'buff' (I had to look that up...it's a compliment...). There was also an interesting little interviewette with Zephaniah recently in the Scottish Big Issue (you can read that here). Anyway, here's my royal offering:
Questions for a queen
What do you think of your children's divorces?
Do you close your eyes and dream about horses?
Is it tiring to always be part of a show?
Do you care when a poet to honours says 'no'?
Do you feel like us, do you cry wet tears?
Have you changed, as we all have, over the years?
Has it been a real life, has it felt real to you?
To us it seems made-up, a story, untrue
Parades and carriages and armies of staff
We make our own breakfasts, we run our own baths
Do you like it, would you choose it, would you be queen again?
Or would you rather live quietly, just one of them?
Less money, fewer banquets, not a sniff of a crown
Just headscarves or, better still, hair let right down
So come on, ma'am, what does one think of that one? You can tell us...
5 hours ago